The heading of this blog refers to my growing appendages caused by overeating.  I think I saw smoke trailing behind me this morning caused by the friction of my thighs rubbing together while I was running.

I know I haven’t blogged in some time but I have many excuses/reasons:-

1. I have been completely lacking any motivation when it comes to running and any exercise that didn’t involve shoving food in my mouth.
2. I have been away on holiday in Corfu, Greece.
3. My father (Walter) passed away on the 11th of September.
4. I really am a “virtual” runner.
5. I was lazy.

Where should I start?

I hate Marathon Training

Yup, I said it.  It turns out that I love the idea of running 26.2 miles but I hate the training involved, especially the long runs.  I mean, I really shouldn’t be dreading Sundays because I know I’m going to be out running for hours!  I like running a lot, but 3+ hours is painful and makes me miserable for the rest of the day (ask my wife) it seems.

I’ve really been giving it a lot of thought and talking to my wife about things and I’ve discovered that I miss getting up and doing 1 hour (10k) runs in the mornings and going out on the odd weekend to participate in a local 10k event (which are usually on Sundays).  Training for a marathon does not actually allow me to do this as most 10k events are on a Sunday and that is the only day I can do my long runs.

So, what I’ve decided is that I am no longer going to attempt to train for any full marathon unless I get a ballot place in the London Marathon; which I will continue to enter each year.  I’m going to go back to the running schedule I enjoyed and start to look forward to the running again!

Regardless what anyone tells you; you do not have to run a marathon to be considered a runner.  You just need to run!

Corfu, Greece to New Brunswick, Canada

My father sadly passed away on 9th September (09/11) at 09:11pm… how weird is that?  My father never was one to do things in halves!  We were on holiday in Greece at the time.

He was a fantastic man, great father and he will be missed by many.  In his lifetime he was in the army, a police officer a prison officer and besides family and friends there were representatives there in full uniform from all three.

My father died on a Saturday and we weren’t due to fly back to the UK until the Monday morning.  There was no way we could get any earlier flights out of Corfu as we simply couldn’t afford to do it.  My family let me know that my dad’s funeral was going to be on the Wednesday morning at 11am so I had to get back to the UK and get another flight out on the Tuesday morning.  On top of all that we had to sort out some financial issues to make sure we actually had the money to send me to Canada!  Very, very stressful times.

Needless to say, I got home to the UK, had less than 5 hours sleep and then was off to Heathrow the next morning to start my 10+ hour journey to the town where my family lives.

I went to my dad’s funeral and as far as funerals go, it was really great.  My dad would have been very happy with it and my sisters certainly deserve a huge thank you for sorting it all out.

After the funeral I stayed in Canada until the Sunday (the day I was supposed to run a marathon in the UK) to help my mum get sorted out and to help sort out the house.  Queue lots of tidying, moving and little sleep on a different timezone (again).

I’ve been back in the UK for almost a week now and I’m just now feeling better and clear-headed.  Last week I was still a bit of a mess.  Not like depressed or anything, just kind of tired and dopey and not thinking straight.

“frickin’ laser beams”

This Wednesday I have to go back to Ultralase to have my right eye re-treated to get rid of the small prescription that still remains after my laser eye surgery a year ago.  It’s free so I thought; why not?

That makes this week a bit odd work-wise but hopefully it will be okay!  I’ve got tomorrow in the office, Tuesday at a conference for the majority of the day, surgery on Wednesday morning and then working from home the rest of the week whilst trying to recover.  Should be interesting!

Moving Forward

Well, it is running!  Ya gotta move forward don’t you?

I plan on just getting back into the groove with running with no other goal than to build it back up and go back to running for an hour 4 or 5 days a week doing about 30 miles a week.  As soon as I think I’m ready, I’m going to start taking part in whatever 10k events I can find; just like I used to.

As I said, I’m not planning any marathons in the future but I would attempt the London Marathon if I got in by ballot.  I’m sorry to anyone who is waiting for me to run a marathon, but it’s just not happening.  I’m certainly not running a marathon for anyone else!  Any money that was donated to sponsor my marathon attempt has all gone to a good cause and I and the charity appreciate your donations.

Perhaps I’m not destined to do a marathon anyway?  1st one:  got ill.  2nd one:  dad died.  Some would say 3rd time lucky, but I don’t care what they say.

For now, back on track.

Wednesday

6.5km (4.04 miles) in 41 mins 12 secs for an average pace of 10:12 min/mile (06:20 min/km).

Friday

1.6km in 10 mins 48 secs for an average pace of 10:52 min/mile

4.8km in 25 mins 50 secs for an average pace of 08:40 min/mile (05:23 min/km)

1.6km in 10 mins 38 secs for an average pace of 10:42 min/mile (06:39 min/km)

Sunday

Long run of 16.23km (10.08 miles) at an average pace of 10:48 min/mile (06:41 min/km).

Details of today’s long run are below:-

My long run was made just a little bit more interesting because of the lovely purple toe I’m sporting at the moment. I took my son to a local indoor playgym which comes complete with a ball pool/pit. I was in the ball pool testing it out to make sure it was safe for my son (okay, I was playing in it) when I stubbed my big toe really hard on the floor mats under the balls. I fell into the balls in agony. Unfortunately my son and the other children there thought it was an invite to a pile-on and I was soon covered in children as well as brightly coloured balls.

So my toe started off as purple before the long run and it now a dark purple covering a larger area. Good thing was that it didn’t hurt at all during the whole run which means I’m just gonna keep at it.

Photos from today’s long run:-

This afternoon we went for a meal at a pub my wife always sees when she’s out and about. It claims to have the “best pub garden in Berkshire”. I beg to differ. Food was pretty good though, even with the 1 hour wait to eat. I won’t be in any hurry to head back to that place again.

I keep saying it, but I really must do it: I need to take part in more (some) cross-training on my non-running days! I mean, it’s just ridiculous. I keep telling myself I need to and I always fully intend to but it never ends up happening. So, tomorrow morning I must somehow make myself get off to the gym for some non-running exercise!

Also, I’m not sure if I’ve told you or not, but I’ve been raising money for a local (Berkshire) charity called DebRA. I’ve raised over £500 for them so far I think and I’ll try and push for a bit more.

As for future running plans, I have none in the short term. Most of the running events I would normally take part in are on a Sunday and the distances are like 10k which is too short for me to do because I really need to be doing my long runs on Sundays. I’ve entered the ballot for the 2011 London Marathon and I’ve also applied for a charity place. I’m telling you, if I get in to the London Marathon I’ll be SUPER excited and I’ll be hitting EVERYONE up for sponsor money! Hell yeah!

Well, I’m off to tweet on twitter and see what peeps are up to.

However, I’ve done a screenshot as follows:-

The first few miles were extremely painful and my legs locked up tight.  I had to stop and walk a couple of times (only for about 10 secs) to try and relieve the pain.  At least it didn’t make much of a difference on my average pace.  Even at my slowest, my average pace for any split/lap was under the average pace of 12:29 min/mile that the training plan called for.

Overall average pace of 11:00 min/mile was okay I guess.  I mean, I’m happy with it and the run overall (except for first few miles) felt good.

This coming week I’ll need to put more of an emphasis on the cross training on the off/rest days to work on my overall fitness.

Non-running stuff?  This blog is doing very well and the “best running blogs” page is still seeing quite a lot of traffic according to my statistics.  Also, my adding a proper directory has made things so much easier as people can add their own blogs/sites without me having to go and edit some html code.

PS – In case you’re wondering about the laps/splits above, there are 15 because my garmin still shows me km.

Tuesday

Called for 3 mile easy run at a 12:29 min/mile pace.  I did 3.10 miles at a 10:14 min/mile pace.

Thursday

Called for a 3 mile tempo run with a 1 mile warm-up and 1 mile cool-down.  I managed 1 mile warm-up at 11:00 min/mile with 3 mile tempo run at 09:01 min/mile and the 1 mile cool-down at 10:33 min/mile.

Sunday

Called for long run of 8 miles at 12:29 min/mile pace.  I managed 8.01 miles at a 10:12 min/mile pace.

Overall, that’s a pretty good week, even though I didn’t get in the cross training I wanted/needed to on the days in between.  Well, I guess that means more of an effort is needed on that front this week!

As for non-running related matters… I’ve made the decision to get rid of my windows based laptop.  Since I’ve had my macbook pro I haven’t needed to use the other laptop for anything at all.  I can see any reason to keep it so I’ve sold it to a work colleague.

I’ve had a nice weekend and spent a few hours yesterday at the Crowthorne Carnival (http://www.crowthornecarnival.co.uk/) with my son and mother-in-law (mummy was at work).  It was a pretty good afternoon and the parade was… interesting.  The floats were what you would expect for a small village parade, however one of them was a bit odd.

Pole dancing?  In a parade?  On a moving flatbed?  With everyone dressed like they’re out of Grease!

I must admit, she was pretty agile though… lol.

So, there you have it.  Pole dancing!

Tomorrow I’ll be attempting to get up early, go to the gym and do some cross-training and weights.  Will it happen?  Who knows!  Place your bets…

A link to the forum is now at the top of this blog and a link to this blog is on the forum.

Basically, I’d love it if the forum grew to something like you see at Runners World, however that takes a lot of time.  Time I’ve got.

So, if you’ve got a minute or two, why not visit the forum and sign-up?  Also, if you’re interested in becoming a site moderator then please let me know either by sending me an email or a private message via the forum.

As for running, I’m still in the middle of my marathon training and even though I’ve been ill for a couple of days I’ll be heading to the gym tomorrow (hopefully) and having a cross-training day.  This will consist of 10 mins running, 10 mins cycling, 10 mins rowing and some weight machines.  Rowing is the most painful for me…

I’m also trying something different and I’ve got my marathon training schedule printed and on the fridge!  How old-school is that eh?  Each time I complete part of the schedule I cross it off or write down what I did.  After a week or so I’ll update you all on what I’ve done compared to the schedule.

I’m off to get my son into bed now.  Dr Seuss bedtime story coming up!

For example, I usually run easy at around 05:45 min/km – 06:30 min/km which equates to 09:15 min/mile – 10:27 min/mile.  The training plan I posted has a long run training pace of 12:14 min/mile which works out as 07:36 min/km; substantially slower than my usual “easy” pace.

This means that if I somehow (with a miracle) managed to run the whole marathon at a pace of 12:14 min/mile I would finish in about 5 hours and 20 minutes.  Is that okay?  I mean, I’m not the lightest or fittest runner in the world and survival is my main goal.  However, I’d also like to finish before they pack up to go home!

So, tomorrow I’m doing a 7 mile run on the treadmill (with an incline) to get the blood flowing again; next week my 8 mile run will need to be on the open roads!

I’m going to loosely stick to this plan in the hopes that it gets me to where I need to be… across the finish line.

Wish me luck!

His name?  Mac!

Yeah baby, I’m currently writing this post on my new MacBook Pro 13 and it is the most amazing computer I’ve ever owned.  Seriously, why did I ever own windows based pcs?

I’ve only had this since yesterday and I’ve already put all the software I “used to” use on my windows laptop on here.  My other laptop is now obsolete I think!

Seriously though, if you haven’t used a Mac before, give it a go.  Once you get used to the different operating system you’ll realise how much better it is!

As for running, my training program is building and it will be easy and interval runs this week with an 8 mile run on Sunday.  This should be okay as long as I don’t push it too much.

I must say that I’m having some motivation problems at the moment and I’d love to hear from any of you on how you stay motivated to keep going.

http://www.farnhampilgrim.org.uk/

The event’s route is described as “mixed and mainly off-road”… great.  However, I figure that if I put the training down then, so what?  I can’t wimp out just because it’s not perfectly flat.  Besides, do I really care how long it’s going to take me to finish?  My main goal is survival for my first marathon!

I haven’t actually booked it yet, and frankly if it fills up before I can register (like the New Forest Marathon!) then I’m sorry in advance, I will be delaying my 1st marathon attempt until April next year!  Yup, if I can’t get into this marathon then I’ve decided to push it back a full year until April 2011.  Bad-side:  I’ve had to put it back so far and people were expecting me to do one.  Good-side:  It will give me the opportunity to save more money.

Let’s be positive though!  I’m going to do the marathon on 19th September in Farnham!  I’ve even did a basic training plan for long runs as follows:-

• 20th Jun – 07 miles
• 27th Jun – 08 miles
• 04th Jul – 09 miles
• 11th Jul – 10 miles
• 18th Jul – 12 miles
• 25th Jul – 10 miles
• 01st Aug – 13 miles
• 08th Aug – 15 miles
• 15th Aug – 17 miles
• 22nd Aug – 18 miles
• 29th Aug – 20 miles
• 05th Sep – 15 miles (day before we go to Greece)
• 12th Sep – 10 miles (this one might be in Greece)
• 19th Sep – Marathon

I’ve also decided that running 3 days a week is not enough for me and I’m going to go back to running on Tue, Wed, Fri and Sun.  I will try and make Tue an easy 10km run and Wed/Fri will be some 40 – 50min interval and hill training each week.  Those two training sessions have to be the big thing and I want to focus on those as well as weight training on Mon and Thu.  This means Sat will be the only day I’m not actually doing some sort of exercise.  Too much?  Perhaps.  But I’m aiming high on purpose.

Wish me luck people!

Everything was going well and we flew to Canada as planned.  However, the second or third day there I started sneezing a lot and I thought it was just allergies (my sisters have pets).  Nope.  Full blown cold kicked in and I was seriously congested in the sinuses.  No problem I thought.  It’s “above the neck” so I’ll continue on like normal.

By Saturday I was feeling pretty rough and wasn’t sleeping well.  I was sticking to the plan though and drinking lots of fluids to stay hydrated for the marathon the following day.  I even went to collect my race pack from the race expo on Sat afternoon/evening.

Sunday morning, coughing and exhausted.  I couldn’t do it.  I was too ill and I was scared to put myself through about 5 hours of running whilst being ill.  To say I was disappointed would be an understatement.  My friends jokes of calling me a “real virtual runner” didn’t help much either.

So, that was it.  I was a virtual runner with a bad cold, race number, timing chip and new t-shirt but no completed marathon.  To top it all off I’ve been raising money for charity and I feel as though I’ve let people down.

Put it all together and I’m on a bit of a downer at the moment!

So, what am I doing to sort all of this out and get back on form?  I’m thinking about it and I haven’t decided yet.  I’ll do one of the following:-

1. Register for a new marathon in the autumn and use the time to get in even more training and raise more money for charity (although I’ll feel as though I’m putting things off).
2. Do my own “virtual marathon” by completing 26.2 miles myself and documenting it using my Garmin Forerunner and video.  This means I would need to attempt the distance over the next couple of weeks.  Probably on a Sunday around Reading, Berkshire.  The downside to this is that there is no medal and no finish line.  Will I still feel the same completing it?  Or am I just doing it for the sake of doing it?  A guilt marathon.

I’d be grateful if any of you out there could comment on this post and give me your thoughts and opinions on what you would do in this situation.

As for running, I went and ran for an hour this morning and it was the first time I’ve run in about 2 1/2 weeks.  My hip flexors were a bit sore afterwards but it felt okay.  I’ll probably push the 10k running for the whole week and do a bit most mornings in order to get myself ready to plod around the Bupa 10,000 in London this weekend.  I’ve got my race pack through and it’s a great event to do.  I certainly won’t be getting a PB this year but I’ll still get the medal.  I love the medals!

Once I’ve done the 10k I’ll give you a write up about it and let you know what it was like.  I’m supposed to have a VIP pass to the elite/celeb area before the race so who knows who or what I’ll see!  I’m taking my wife with me because I’m rubbish at spotting anyone famous!

Now, you may or may not be wondering about the title of this blog.  I mean, to say “full of crap” kind of indicates that I’ve lied about something.  But I haven’t.  “Full of crap” relates to the ridiculous amount of food I ate while in Canada.  There is nothing to do where we were.  Fredericton, New Brunswick is a beautiful city in Canada but it’s boring!  So, everything seemed to revolve around food and eating out.  To top it all off, I missed a lot of foods that I used to eat when I lived there so I felt I had to try as much as possible.  Bad idea.

The flight home was a bit uncomfortable and my wife and I thought we may have to book extra seats; one for each butt cheek.

To make myself feel a bit better I went on a (kind of) liquid diet for a couple of days.  Man, it felt nice.  All I ate was cereal for breakfast (I know it’s not a liquid but I need some fibre and stuff.  Most important meal of the day!) soups, yoghurt, smoothies etc.  No more bloated feeling!  All ruined today with a massive feast of delicious burnt bbq meaty goodness.  Damn.

Tomorrow the liquid diet starts again.  It’s a nice cleanse for me and I’ll probably try and do it for the whole week.  At the end of the week I’ll assess how I feel and decide whether to continue.

Yours sincerely,

Fatty Chubberson